Step 134: Tornado Living

Well it's quite obvious that I am lacking on this posting stuff.
C'est la vie.

February 7, 2018 we pulled away from our home in Creswell, Oregon.  A home I loved and "knew" I was going to live out my days in.  Small backyard so not a lot of yard maintenance for us as we keep on aging.  Big enough to host events but not so big that I could keep the place clean.  I'm not a 4,000 square foot home dweller - who's gonna clean all of that?  Not me.  A small town that I was born into and had returned to... I love that place.  It's in my heart, still.

Once again we have landed in Texas.  Yep, Texas.  Lance's employment is here.  He isn't getting any younger, so we go where the work is.  We've been here over eleven months and well it has been a tornado....  Lance flew out to Texas last January and bought our home.  Yes, he bought a home I had never laid eyes on.  He walked through with a trusted sister-in-law who gave me all the 411 that she could see and we signed for it while still in Oregon.  Drove four days to Texas and entered our home.  Lance did well.  I just don't like Texas.  I know, I know... so many people rave about Texas and they are so friendly and it is wonderful.  I've never had that experience.  The driving... oh the driving... okay back to the tornado living. 

Texas is HOT.  Humid.  No mountains.  Green grass and trees are only around for a few precious months.  They just happen to be the months that are the hottest and most humid.  It is a foreign land to me and my soul.  We live smack dab middle of the prairie lands... no beaches, no mountains, no trees (that want to live here), and it is brown.  It is windy, stormy, tornadoes dwell here, and it is HOT. 

We moved mid-school year and our crew jumped into their new lives.  Very overwhelming.  Fan-C was at a high school of 250 kids and entered a high school of almost 5,000.  Her high school here is the size of the entire town we left in Oregon!  Eating lunch with over a 1,000 kids overwhelmed all my crew and they missed the first few days of lunch trying to figure it all out.  The middle school is just as overwhelming.  My heart hurts for my crew.  Eleven months of begging to return to family and friends in Oregon.  Back to their quaint country schools.  My momma heart wants to pack up and head home. 

Upon arrival in Texas we learned that some vital mental health services that we had been waiting for in Oregon finally got approved once we made it to Texas.  But the catch is/was, it doesn't transfer to Texas.  Frustration.  So for months I have been battling it out seeking assistance for MrJ and trying to get legal matters established to ensure he gets the help and services he needs.  It has been a LONG frustrating battle.  One we are still in the middle of. This has been an ugly tornado. 

I packed up our home in Oregon, staged, cleaned, staged, painted, staged, arranged... so we could all move and have a grand adventure.  I came to a state that ended up fighting me to get my driver's license, register my trucks, get care for my MrJ, IEP junk for Tiny-T, a ward that doesn't want me (No calling, visiting teaching routes, no assignment for almost TEN MONTHS!), and all my friends and family and life are back in Oregon!  I wanted to come here and BLOOM WHERE I HAD BEEN PLANTED... the soil of Texas doesn't want me. 

I have battled trying to stay positive and encouraging so that my crew can establish a life and thrive.  But despite my efforts... depression and anger have reigned supreme.  My older crew all graduate in a tight neat row and all have made plans to live in Oregon once graduated.  So my crew will all be in the PNW and I'll be attempting to "bloom" in the Prairie Lands of Texas.  This breaks my heart. 

We are here for forever.  Lance's job will not take him back to Oregon again.  His previous job was outsourced and now he is a part of the Marketing team... which is all located here in Texas. 

This has been the worst year of my marriage.  Anger, frustration, depression, resentment has been flowing like the acid each of those things are and eating away at us as a couple.  We've had a couple attempts to reign in everything and attempt to rebuild.  That is where we are.  Attempting to rebuild once again.  This tornado is the meanest, biggest, baddest, most hateful tornado of them all. 

We thought we were moving to help our family grow and we have just spent a year being torn apart.  But we are not giving up.  We are holding on like crazy and hunkering down in our storm shelter and continuing to press forward.  We will master this tornado living... one storm at a time.