Step 133: Getting Picked... like in gym class

Today is a rough day.
Three youngest of our crew stayed home with me from church since they are all barking like seals, have endless runny noses, and are generally miserable.  
As I was trying to get the three-year old convinced to take a nap (I was unsuccessful), I started bawling.  Not like a few tears rolling down my cheeks and sniffing a time or two.  I mean water works soaking my face and shirt.  Snot pouring out of my nose.  Crying so hard that I gagged a time or two.  
I know, LOVELY... NOT!  
My tears could be exhaustion induced but I was not thinking about how real sleep is a thing of dreams these days.  I was thinking about the preexistence.
Yep, the preexistence.
I have this image in my mind of all of the "mothers" standing on the half-court line facing an endless sea of potential children.  These children keep walking up and standing behind their future mothers.  Some ladies have one or two.  Others have numbers into the teens.  Then there are a few of US ladies.  We are so excited for the women surrounded by children.  We clap every time another spirit chooses them.  Then the sea of children are dwindling and I notice a few of us ladies just standing there wringing our hands together hoping that even ONE spirit will choose us.  Just one.  As the numbers get smaller and smaller.  I then realize, I am not chosen.  No spirit wants me to serve as their earthly mother.  
Just like gym class but worse.  
At least in gym class you get given to one of the teams (against their will).  Trust me, I am WELL versed as being the forced upon team member.  
You aren't chosen.  
Not even once.  
Why?  Why was I not "good" enough to have even one child/spirit want to come to this earth via me?  
Why , why , why .... 
Adoption has blessed our lives to the moon and back!  We are the parents of six beautiful children.  But I wonder, could my children be short-changed or "stuck" with me as an earthly mother?  I know there are TONS of women who could do a beyond phenomenal job compared to what I am doing.  I think about the days that it seems like all I do is yell for things to be completed or for the toddler to stop hurting his baby sister.  I think about the women who birthed my children.  I know they would give ANYTHING to have their children back in their arms.  It was their God-given right to parent these children.  Through bad choices the state removed their right (according to man) to be my children's parents but did that eliminate their God-given right?  Will my children seek out to find these women later on in life?  Will they wish they had been left in their care vs. being raised by me?  Will they have an eternal connection to their bio-parents for the eternities although the crew have been sealed to me and Lance?  
God-given rights.  
Not chosen.  
Another thing to add to my PPI bullet points with Heavenly Father.